The future seems bleak... I had no idea where the Lord wants to place me in the future. In just a few more months I will be graduating.Where shall I go?What shall I do?Going to Australia to further my studies seems to be the best option, and I really want to go. I want to gain exposure, I want to meet new people, but most importantly, I want to learn to be independent and dependent on God fully. I want to put my trust on Him, lean on Him, rely on Him for I know that He will lead me through.But if given the chance, I would want to stay in Singapore and go to SMU. I want to take care of my old parents, who loved me so much and has given everything to me.

So what's next after Uni? To follow my parents desire to teach? I want to become a teacher too... that has been my dreams since young. But thats not where my spiritual gift is. If I don't become a teacher, I would like to work in a charity organisation, to care for those who are in needs. The pay may be low, but thats what I really enjoy...

My mum has provided me everything for me to do well with a bright future.She has spent so much time on me, teaching and guiding me in my preparation for my exams. She is never stingy to hire so many tutors to brush up on my weaker subjects. She always makes sure that I have extra, if not enough money to spend. She always pray for me, be it for my studies or for other areas. She loves me so much , and has given me so much, therefore, I want to honour her with good results. She is so old already, I pray that the Lord will preserve her and protect her, I cannot imagine a day without her... Even though she nags at me, even though she scold me sometimes, but she cares for me so much. I love her and respect her with all my hearts... My mum is the best mum ever. She is not only my mum, she is my best friend, someone whom I can confide all my secrets with without having to fear that she will judge me or tell others about it.

Looking back, the Lord has been so awesome to me! He listens to every prayer of mine. He bless me with good friends, safe place for me to stay. He always protects me from all harm and guided me through my all trails and tests. How can I ask for more? How can I be defeated by self-inferiority when He is my strength? I just pray that the Lord will show me a way, bless me with gifts and bless the people around me...

I have not been blogging for quite sometime... I wanted to give up blogging as there are things that I am not willing to open up to, but at the same time want to express some of my thoughts so badly. I am reminded once again of the reason for this blog. This is my testimony, it is not about boasting how great am I but its about what God has done in my life.

I just came back from Church camp. I was a very meaningful one, I have learned so much and God has made me realized so many things from it.Firstly, God answered my prayer about my self inferiority. I realized that my self concept was so low, I am not good at many things, I feel so lousy about myself. How I wish I had some of talents that my friends had. How I wish I can do excel in everything. Yet Jesus keep reminding me how much He loves me, that I am so wonderfully made and God didn't made us to be weak. In Dr Liu's last sermon, he said that we should not compare ourselves with other people, instead, we should admire and give thanks for their gifting. All we have to do is rely on God's strength to help us do all things. In Philippians4:13, it says I can do everything through Him who gives me Strength. This verse has been my motivation, but sadly my faith isn't strong enough to rely on Him fully. I am still praying for spiritual gifts, especially the gift of evangelism which I am weakest at. I can now proudly say that I am unique and I can do all things through God's love and strength!

Secondly, during the last Sunday school, pastor Wong told us to see the hope, joy, and crowns of the people around me. ( 1Thess 2:19) I have never thought of it at all. When we learned to see these things in other people, we will appreciate them more. Its easy to magnify the flaws of the people around me, once in a while I will think of their strength and thank God for it, but never did I thought of the joy, hope and crowns in the people around me! The first person that came into my mind was Rinnah haha. Hmm, I could see all these three things in her, but only on the surface, I have not given any thoughts before this. In the camp, I manage to identify them in Kai Xin. I saw her how much she cares for people around her, she help us take care of our passport and meal voucher, I admire how she is able to place God as priority regardless of the circumstances. I thank God for having such as great sister in Christ like the both of them:)

Thirdly, I enjoyed the fellowship! I didn't enjoyed myself at all the previous camp, I still felt that I am ostracized by the church. This year's camp was total opposite. Perhaps, it's because we all have better understanding of each other throughout the past 2 years. Its feels great to simply smile at each other or greet each other regardless of whether we know them or not. Though I am still prefer the fellowship that I had in nav, but I thank God for placing me in SAC whereby I have to learn to love and serve others. :)