Come To Jesus - Chris Rice (Lyrics)

This song remind me that Jesus is always there for us regardless of all circumstances...

I really appreciate everything that you have done for me... Thank you for buying so many things for me, thank you for being my spiritual teacher explaining many concepts which I do not understand, thank you for always being there to give me comfort and advices thank you for all your prayers, thank you for everything...

However, please stop taking control over every single thing that I do. Please stop discouraging and warning me from doing what I want to do. Please stop giving me 110 reasons to dissuade me in many things claiming that it is all for my own good. Please stop controlling what I'd like to eat, watch and play.Please stop judging those staying at the hospice.Please stop treating me like a child for I am no longer a child...

Rather, please give me your support in everything that I do.This is all that I am asking from you. Encourage me, NOT discourage me or warn me. Agree with me, NOT oppose me in my decisions. Looking back I have never regretted any decisions that I have made, okay maybe there are but those are not of much importance.Please put yourself in my shoes and think what is really best for me, NOT assuming what you think is the best.Please treat me like a youth NOT a child whom you can take full control of . The more you try to take control of me and discourage me even in small little things, the more I am running away from you. I am saddened by you... I thought that you will give me your support but you never did. I am moving far away from you, too disappointed in you. I am not expecting anything from you anymore, I am sick of all your unnecessarily warnings, I am not going to do anything to proof to you for your acknowledgement doesn't matter to me anymore. I just hope that you will understand that I love you so much and respect you for who you are, but I have my own desires, and I will do my best to achieve what I want, though what I want may not be very ambitious, but it is definitely a meaningful one...

O Lord, You have searched me

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my

lying down;

You are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

You have laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for

me.

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your

presence?

If I go up to heavens, You are

there;

if I make my bed in the depths, You

are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

Your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say,"Surely the darkness will

hide me

and the light become night around

me,

even the darkness will not be dark to

You;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For You created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother's

womb.

I praise You because I am fearfully

and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

Psalm 139:1-14

This is God's love for us.

The future seems bleak... I had no idea where the Lord wants to place me in the future. In just a few more months I will be graduating.Where shall I go?What shall I do?Going to Australia to further my studies seems to be the best option, and I really want to go. I want to gain exposure, I want to meet new people, but most importantly, I want to learn to be independent and dependent on God fully. I want to put my trust on Him, lean on Him, rely on Him for I know that He will lead me through.But if given the chance, I would want to stay in Singapore and go to SMU. I want to take care of my old parents, who loved me so much and has given everything to me.

So what's next after Uni? To follow my parents desire to teach? I want to become a teacher too... that has been my dreams since young. But thats not where my spiritual gift is. If I don't become a teacher, I would like to work in a charity organisation, to care for those who are in needs. The pay may be low, but thats what I really enjoy...

My mum has provided me everything for me to do well with a bright future.She has spent so much time on me, teaching and guiding me in my preparation for my exams. She is never stingy to hire so many tutors to brush up on my weaker subjects. She always makes sure that I have extra, if not enough money to spend. She always pray for me, be it for my studies or for other areas. She loves me so much , and has given me so much, therefore, I want to honour her with good results. She is so old already, I pray that the Lord will preserve her and protect her, I cannot imagine a day without her... Even though she nags at me, even though she scold me sometimes, but she cares for me so much. I love her and respect her with all my hearts... My mum is the best mum ever. She is not only my mum, she is my best friend, someone whom I can confide all my secrets with without having to fear that she will judge me or tell others about it.

Looking back, the Lord has been so awesome to me! He listens to every prayer of mine. He bless me with good friends, safe place for me to stay. He always protects me from all harm and guided me through my all trails and tests. How can I ask for more? How can I be defeated by self-inferiority when He is my strength? I just pray that the Lord will show me a way, bless me with gifts and bless the people around me...

I have not been blogging for quite sometime... I wanted to give up blogging as there are things that I am not willing to open up to, but at the same time want to express some of my thoughts so badly. I am reminded once again of the reason for this blog. This is my testimony, it is not about boasting how great am I but its about what God has done in my life.

I just came back from Church camp. I was a very meaningful one, I have learned so much and God has made me realized so many things from it.Firstly, God answered my prayer about my self inferiority. I realized that my self concept was so low, I am not good at many things, I feel so lousy about myself. How I wish I had some of talents that my friends had. How I wish I can do excel in everything. Yet Jesus keep reminding me how much He loves me, that I am so wonderfully made and God didn't made us to be weak. In Dr Liu's last sermon, he said that we should not compare ourselves with other people, instead, we should admire and give thanks for their gifting. All we have to do is rely on God's strength to help us do all things. In Philippians4:13, it says I can do everything through Him who gives me Strength. This verse has been my motivation, but sadly my faith isn't strong enough to rely on Him fully. I am still praying for spiritual gifts, especially the gift of evangelism which I am weakest at. I can now proudly say that I am unique and I can do all things through God's love and strength!

Secondly, during the last Sunday school, pastor Wong told us to see the hope, joy, and crowns of the people around me. ( 1Thess 2:19) I have never thought of it at all. When we learned to see these things in other people, we will appreciate them more. Its easy to magnify the flaws of the people around me, once in a while I will think of their strength and thank God for it, but never did I thought of the joy, hope and crowns in the people around me! The first person that came into my mind was Rinnah haha. Hmm, I could see all these three things in her, but only on the surface, I have not given any thoughts before this. In the camp, I manage to identify them in Kai Xin. I saw her how much she cares for people around her, she help us take care of our passport and meal voucher, I admire how she is able to place God as priority regardless of the circumstances. I thank God for having such as great sister in Christ like the both of them:)

Thirdly, I enjoyed the fellowship! I didn't enjoyed myself at all the previous camp, I still felt that I am ostracized by the church. This year's camp was total opposite. Perhaps, it's because we all have better understanding of each other throughout the past 2 years. Its feels great to simply smile at each other or greet each other regardless of whether we know them or not. Though I am still prefer the fellowship that I had in nav, but I thank God for placing me in SAC whereby I have to learn to love and serve others. :)

Why am I so overwhelmed about where to serve the Lord in the future for the past few weeks?I want to do things my own way, I want to be a wonder women to handling all things nicely,but I have my limitations.Furthermore,I do not know where I am heading, its like I am split into three.One third of me is at nav, the other one third is studying and the other one third is in church.What is there to be so anxious about really?I have been thinking hard about this and I realised that it doesn't matter where am I serving, so long as I am following what God wants me to do is all that matters.If God wants me to serve in church and focus in church, I will follow, if God wants me to serve in nav and I will puts in every efforts into it.Therefore, I shall commit it to the Lord :) For now, I will try to cope with it, but studies is still my first priority.I am still glorifying God by studying hard.Ha I am happy now, after I have lifted this huge burden off me :)

God once again showed me that He is in control of everything...Pastor Wong informed me that I will be serving in yiyuji, dealing with the small kids.Ah I am so happy now, although this was my second choice, but I am more than willing to serve in the kiddo ministry than the youth ministry which is my first choice.It seems like my height and high pitched voice will come handly in future:)I shall do my best and obey God:)

The year 2011 has started not too long ago and I am feeling so overwhelmed... The word'serving' seems to be the big thing for me in 2011. On top of my busy school routine, I am involved in the labourer training programme for Nav and I also became a member of the newly formed fellowship 小组, both requires extra commitments, which means that my weekends are officially gone.In addition, both will teach me the true meaning of serving the Lord and the people. Mum seems very anxious and perturbed by this.She is worried that I will not be able to cope with my studies given that I will spend less time studying during the weekends.I understand and shares the same concerns as her,but didn't I managed to prove that I can manage it even during last's year's common test where I am equally busy with serving?Without God's guidance and grace,I will never be where I am today. With my low IQ and low ability I will never do well by my own effort, it HIS guidance that made do me well ...

I shared my dilemma with cousin Grace today, 'what is your motives of doing all these?'she asked.I have never thought of why I am I serving the Lord.I just enjoy serving the Lord, I want to glorify Him by serving Him.Grace said that I may need to give up on something.I am not willing to give up on anything as for now.Nav is a blessing for me, I really enjoy the fellowship with the people there although I have only been there for a year plus.Every week I look forward to Saturday the most because of Nav, I had learned so much over there, I enjoy being with the people there, I enjoy studying there, playing games, and even cleaning the area. How can I then give up on being with that bunch of awesome brothers and sisters at Nav?

As for church, I have been there throughout my whole life;it has become a habit of going there every Sunday.I have learned a lot there, I desire to serve in church in the futureif it is God's willing.


I am still seeking for His way, I don't know which areas does God wants me to serve?I don't know what is His plan for me... I am unwilling to give up on neither of them as for now, I want to cope with everything, but I can't because of my limitations... At the end of the day, I will still have to obey the Lord even if He tell me to give up on something.I pray that I will find a balance between those three through His guidace...