I have been pondering a lot on God's love, His mysterious ways and many other things.I am such a sinful person inside out, sometimes I really hated myself to the core.I have so many weaknesses!Very often, I dun understand why I do certain things, I am so sinful and undeserving but God who love me so much is willing to sacrifice Himself for me and chooses me to be His children.Because of His great love, I want to serve Him forever, but I dunno where He want to me to serve?Is it to serve in the youth ministry or elderly ministry?Is it to serve in SAC or other church? Sometimes I wonder why God created me to be so small in size with a child like high-pitched voice, does He want me to serve in the children ministry??I am still waiting for His call...

I wonder if the life that I live is a witness to others as a Christian.However, I doubt so. I am so sinful in nature, I have too many weaknesses...Very Often,I dun live according to God's ways,I dun do some things that God wants me to do.I am still learning to love others as I love myself,but often it is not easy especially to someone who is so different.It is hard to obey God fully!

The people around me are aging faster than I thought... Mummy has weak kidney and weak legs.She just signalled to me that due to her leg's condition we wont be going for holiday:( Papa's health is getting weaker, he is getting slower and slower:( Aunt Roslin's condition has worsen, she is now full of worries. :( The 3 most important people in my life are all getting weaker , slower, and older yet I am getting stronger each day.There will be a point where they will rely on me, I need to support them.I need to be more mature sot that they will feel that I am reliable.I pray that God will bless them with good health, bless them in their work, and bless them in every areas...